The day the music died – Michael Jackson Dead Jokes Collection!
Written by Ithiel on Saturday, June 27th.
Well, he was barley cold, and the jokes about Michael Jacksons death had already started spamming up the internet (and my phone for that matter), so today I’d like to have a special post dedicated to the best of them:
- When Farah arrived at the pearly gates God granted her 1 wish. Farah thought for a minute and said “I wish for the children to be safe”. God paused, smiled and then told her… “The children are safe… i just killed Michael Jackson”
- Michael Jackson gets to the gates of heaven and God says to him ‘I cannot decide if you are black or white so just beat it’.
Warning: These get rather offencive (and @#%^ing halarious!) To reduce flames, the post is seperated. Click Read More for the rest of the lolz.
- Michael Jackson did manage to whisper a brief message to paramedics on his way to the hospital… “put me on the children’s ward”
- He’s moonwalking all the way to neverland now
- What’s the difference between MJ and a Disney Film? Disney films can still touch kids
- Michael Jackson’s upcoming London dates have been cancelled.
They were James (aged 9) and Thomas (aged 11) - Plans to drive Michael Jackson to his funeral in a 15-year-old hearse were scuppered after his will said he’d hate to enter anything that old
- What’s the difference between Jacko and Fergie?
Fergie will be playing Giggs in August - What time did Michael Jackson die?
- I heard the big hand touched the little hand.
- After Michael Jackson’s death, they were unsure what to put on the death certificate.
In the end, one doctor pointed out it doesn’t really matter if he’s black or white. - He’s dead? Thought he looked a bit off colour
- There are unconfirmed reports of people hearing Thriller playing backwards from the morgue – Apparently he’s de-composing.
- Today’s mourners break into two camps: Farrah Fawcett Majors and Michael Jackson minors.
- Michael Jackson suffered his heart attack while racing to a Los Angeles department store.
Someone told him boys trousers were half off. - Apparently Jackson has requested in his will that his ashes be placed inside an ‘etch-a-sketch’…
So even after his death, kids can continue to play and fiddle with him. - The US Coroners office just released a statement saying that they are going to melt down Michael’s body and turnn him into plastic toys so kids can play with him for a change
- When Farah arrived at the pearly gates God granted her 1 wish. Farah thought for a minute and said “I wish for the children to be safe”. God paused, smiled and then told her… “The children are safe… i just killed Michael Jackson”
- Michael Jackson gets to the gates of heaven and God says to him ‘I cannot decide if you are black or white so just beat it’.
- Reports of Michael Jackson having a heart attack are not true! He was in the children’s ward having a stroke
- Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff since Macaully Culkin last spent a night at the neverland ranch
- In MJ’s will he’s requested to be cremated and his ashes mixed into a bowl of cocopops so that he could go through the ass of a 10 year old boy one last time
- Early reports are that the hospital does not know what to do with the body, as plastic recycling is not collected until next Thursday.
- Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital. The maternity ward was immediately put on lockdown.
- Like Michael Jackson always said. “Live fast, die young, leave a vaguely vietnamese looking woman’s corpse”
R.I.P. Michael Jackson: 1958 – 2009
Popularity: 23% [?]
Tags: dead jokes, death, facesmack saturday, joke, Jokes, michael jackson, parody, sarcasm, the day the music died, undead
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I am sooo gonna get flamed for this. lol.
Ebay Auction: Michael Jackson’s PC…
Highest Bidder: G. Glitter.
you fucking bastard, those ‘jokes’ are the cruelest thing i’ve heard all day, and I work in fucking Manchester! Burn in hell. RIP MJ xxx
These jokes are fucking hilariouss!!!!
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn’t come on your face until you’re about 13…
Michael Jackson’s music touched a lot of people and he touched a lot of people below the age of consent
i think all that thinks that this jokes r funny should go 2 hell even though i dont even think the deserve 2 go there a hell wouldn’t want fuckin arse holes like u in there.!!.
Now the question is, does he go to a cemetery or a plastics recycling depot?
rip michael your my hero but now your dead i can get laid more and put mor notches on my bed post. YES I WILL WIN ARE BET. LOVE GARRY G. if your under 16 call. 07818803540 xxxxxx
Macdonalds is going to produce a Michael Jackson burger
it’s 50 year old meat, in an 8 year old bun.
why pity him when he pays some kid 16 million dollars to be quite?
y did michael jackson hang da baby out da window………
to stop the cum dripping on da carpet
Lots more Michael Jackson death jokes here!
Michael Jackson Death Jokes´s last blog ..Please add your own Michael Jackson death jokes in the comments!
@the Anonymous’…
These jokes are not my own, I found them (or had them sent to me), put them in a list, and said ‘lol at these’. I specifically seperated the post out through a read more so that people who might be offended didn’t have to be.
The fact that you have read the rest means that you specifically wanted to be offended – to this, I lol.
Michael Jackson wrote incredible music, he was also an amazing dancer and performer, but… and there always is a but (often attached to a 13 year old in his case – oh, snap!), he was excentric, reclusive, and.. well, crazy.
The fact that I had these jokes pouring into my phone within MINUTES of his death being announced was a clear indication that I’m not the only one who thought so.
I am not disputing the fact that he was tallented, nor disputing the shock and sadness of his death, but this is a blog for funny stuff, jokes are funny, and contraversial jokes are fraking halarious.
Lets face it, he gave the comedians a lot of material.
P.S. Some of these jokes came from friends of mine who were not only huge MJ fans, but also had tickets to concert tour. I figure if they can laugh about it, then the Anonymous’ bandwagon should too.
EDIT: @all the awesome people who added more jokes – you rock!
Keep ‘em coming! (no pun intended. lol)
~Ithiel
Ithiel´s last blog ..The day the music died – Michael Jackson Dead Jokes Collection!
ROFL! Great stuff!
For the record, I didn’t like him when he was alive, and that’s not changed now he’s dead.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? About 3 hours.
Michael Jackson is an AMAZING Person , he has a caring heart and will ALWAYS be the best Entertainer. Such a genius and will never be replaced. My Daughter and I attended his 45th B’Day Party and he was so sweet to talk to, he spoke to me about Glasgow, Scvotland, Edinburgh and he really liked it there on his visits.
People that think he is weird or wacko, I think that is sad. Don”t Judge a book by its cover. There are many werd people out in the world. He was loved for being the Greatest Performer and for being such a caring person.
He was done wrong in his short life.
His Childhood was taken away from him and My heart goes out to Michael Jackson.
R.I.P Michael
How did Michael Jackson get his kid to stop crying?
He pulled his dick out of his ass.
Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Not Michael.
When asked to comment on the death of Michael Jackson,
Macully Culkin said “something’s missing inside”.
Only in America can someone be born a poor black man and die a rich white woman.
Just before he died Michael Jackson was trying to quit the Cub Scouts.
He was down to one pack a day.
Michael Jackson had so much plastic surgery they decided to recycle him.
Now, when you check out at the grocery store the ask:
“paper or predator?”
Michael Jackson’s will states he wants to be cremated rather than buried.
He prefers a small can to a big box.
What’s the difference between the lives of Farah Faucett and Michael Jackson?
She did Majors and he did minors.
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson while lounging on the beach?
“Excuse me, you’re in my son”.
Jockeys at tomorrows race meeting will wear black armbands out of respect for Jacko who successfully rode more 3 year old’s than anyone else in history.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?
Acne doesn’t come on your face until around 13.
I don’t find these jokes amusing one bit. That is very hurtfull to say and I bet you wouldn’t like that if people say that about you. And if you had a brains what so ever the media puts stories way out of context just to sell the story.
Many many more Michael Jackson death jokes here: The Unofficial Michael Jackson Dying Bad Taste Jokes Blog
Michael Jackson Dead Jokes´s last blog ..Last wish
i made this one up:
So it turns out that MJ was actually in a hospital donating blood when he had his heart attack. It turns out that he got a little too excited when he heard the nurse say, “ok, you’re just going to feel a little prick”.
I overheard this one:
I guess the autopsy info was released today. He didn’t actually die of a heart attack after all. (wait for them to say ,”really?”)
Yeah- it was food poisoning. (wait for the “really”)
He had eaten a twelve year old weiner.
Jokes about dead celebrities are funny. If you don’t want to hear them, don’t look them up or pay attention to them.
R.I.P Michael he was a legend
http://www.mjcondolencebook.com Michael Jackson Book Of Condolence
What did Michael Jackson have in common with caviar?
They both come on little crackers.
Why did Michael Jackson travel with such a huge entourage?
He had a lot of shit to pack.
Before he died, Michael Jackson was working on a book on parenting: “The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing”.
*Knock knock*
Who’s there?
Little Boy Blue.
Little Boy Blue who?
Michael Jackson!
When asked what he thought was a “perfect ten” Michael Jackson relplied ” two five year olds”.
i was stunned when i heard about Michael Jackson; he was still relatively young
i say wacko jacko shud rot in hell like the children whu he made life hell gd ridence the fuckin nonce
The latest news
Mj drowned and was found face down on a bouy
Did you hear ?
The King of Pop just got iced !
Dear Michel Jackson
I love all the songs you sang.Your very talanted from when you were small.I am turning 9 years old and I am not as talanted as you are.
Love Suhara
Who is michael jackson!!??!?!?
Hilarious jokes. When will all the wacko jacko fans wake up and see him for the pedo he was. At least that is one less scum bag off the streets and no longer a risk to children.
What is worse is that his death completely stole the attention and focus off of poor Farrah Fawcett’s death. Shame- it seems you need to have a ton of plastic surgery to change your skin colour and look like a Vietnamese women, and molest children in order to get noticed nowadays.
MICHAEL JACKSON DEAD JOKES FOR REAL!
Michael Jackson Dead Jokes! FOR REAL!´s last blog ..Kick it!
My Tribute to MJ
Michael Jackson died and went to the gates of heaven. God on seeing his behaviour record wasnt too impressed but also noted that he had entertained and made people a lot happier with his music. In this confusion on whether he should be sent to heaven or no, God decided to ask him one question on which he will be judged…
continued on thelamegame blogspot com
I heard that it wasn’t a heart attack that killed Michael Jackson. It was really food poisoning. He ate a 7 year old weenier!
I’m glad he is dead… anyone saying that these jokes are cruel probably have a “I’m a Pedophile!” sign in your front yard…. good riddance HOMO!
when mj died and went up to the heaven gates god said, sorry we cant let you in, we dont know if ur black or white, BEAT IT!:)
As much as I hate to say it these jokes are funny, but mean can’t people at least give him peace in death. R.I.P MJ