Well, he was barley cold, and the jokes about Michael Jacksons death had already started spamming up the internet (and my phone for that matter), so today I’d like to have a special post dedicated to the best of them:

• When Farah arrived at the pearly gates God granted her 1 wish. Farah thought for a minute and said “I wish for the children to be safe”. God paused, smiled and then told her… “The children are safe… i just killed Michael Jackson”
• Michael Jackson gets to the gates of heaven and God says to him ‘I cannot decide if you are black or white so just beat it’.

Warning: These get rather offencive (and @#%^ing halarious!) To reduce flames, the post is seperated. Click Read More for the rest of the lolz.

• Michael Jackson did manage to whisper a brief message to paramedics on his way to the hospital… “put me on the children’s ward”
• He’s moonwalking all the way to neverland now
• What’s the difference between MJ and a Disney Film? Disney films can still touch kids
• Michael Jackson’s upcoming London dates have been cancelled.
  They were James (aged 9) and Thomas (aged 11)
• Plans to drive Michael Jackson to his funeral in a 15-year-old hearse were scuppered after his will said he’d hate to enter anything that old
• What’s the difference between Jacko and Fergie?
  Fergie will be playing Giggs in August
• What time did Michael Jackson die?
• I heard the big hand touched the little hand.
• After Michael Jackson’s death, they were unsure what to put on the death certificate.
  In the end, one doctor pointed out it doesn’t really matter if he’s black or white.
• He’s dead? Thought he looked a bit off colour
• There are unconfirmed reports of people hearing Thriller playing backwards from the morgue - Apparently he’s de-composing.
• Today’s mourners break into two camps: Farrah Fawcett Majors and Michael Jackson minors.
• Michael Jackson suffered his heart attack while racing to a Los Angeles department store.
  Someone told him boys trousers were half off.
• Apparently Jackson has requested in his will that his ashes be placed inside an ‘etch-a-sketch’…
  So even after his death, kids can continue to play and fiddle with him.
• The US Coroners office just released a statement saying that they are going to melt down Michael’s body and turnn him into plastic toys so kids can play with him for a change
• When Farah arrived at the pearly gates God granted her 1 wish. Farah thought for a minute and said “I wish for the children to be safe”. God paused, smiled and then told her… “The children are safe… i just killed Michael Jackson”
• Michael Jackson gets to the gates of heaven and God says to him ‘I cannot decide if you are black or white so just beat it’.
• Reports of Michael Jackson having a heart attack are not true! He was in the children’s ward having a stroke
• Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff since Macaully Culkin last spent a night at the neverland ranch
• In MJ’s will he’s requested to be cremated and his ashes mixed into a bowl of cocopops so that he could go through the ass of a 10 year old boy one last time
• Early reports are that the hospital does not know what to do with the body, as plastic recycling is not collected until next Thursday.
• Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital. The maternity ward was immediately put on lockdown.
• Like Michael Jackson always said. “Live fast, die young, leave a vaguely vietnamese looking woman’s corpse”

R.I.P. Michael Jackson: 1958 - 2009

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